


Children of an Idle Brain

by shadowintheshade



Category: Romeo And Juliet - Shakespeare
Genre: Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Crack, Explicit Language, Fluff, Love at First Sight, M/M, Whatever the opposite of slow burn is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:14:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22091650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowintheshade/pseuds/shadowintheshade
Summary: Mercutio/ Romeo English all - boys boarding school AU. Romeo is the new kid at Verona academy and Mercutio is instantly smitten. Benvolio is everybody's in - between, rapidly not coping with these two idiots. Also they may be ....room mates :-)
Relationships: Mercutio/Romeo Montague
Comments: 12
Kudos: 15
Collections: Romeo & Juliet / Romeo et Juliette Fanfic Exchange 2019





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pansiesforthoughts](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pansiesforthoughts/gifts).



**1.**

It is a truth universally acknowledged that nothing sets a school's whisper-mill running quite as quickly or as hard as a new kid half way through the first term. Who is he? Where does he come from? Is he cool? Which house will he be in?

The truth is, even though Benvolio does not have a clue as to any of these questions, he feels on top of the world right now for having been the first to see the new boy arrive, and there is a part of him - that first-grade heart of every sixth former- that wants to run down the corridors to the dorm rooms shouting _new kid new kid!_ like he's still eleven years old.

It occurs to him only half way to the dorms, that not only is he seventeen now and way too cool for that, but that the others aren't even in the stupid dorms, and what was he thinking? It's four o clock on a Sunday afternoon and the crew'll be down the smoking shed (aka the old games shed on the far edge of the east hockey field by the woods) listening to Mercutio hold court and sharing contraband cigarettes and girlie mags, _probably,_ if they haven't got too heavily caught up in a tussle with House Capulet on the way.

He skids to a halt and turns round for the hockey fields. _Be cool, Ben._ He runs a hand through his hair and forces himself to saunter – _just cause you know something Merc doesn't for once – don't blow it by looking_ excited _by it._ So he takes a deep breath at the shed door before flopping in with a wave into the small hole of excessive aftershave and cigarette smoke, perching _very_ idly – he hopes – on a stack of old sacks while Sam burbles on -

“-and he was all like 'are you giving me the fucking finger mate?' and I was like, 'Who me, man? Not me, man? I mean, I have a finger mate, where do you fucking want it?'” The small room erupts with laughter, all except Mercutio, to whom they all, without quite meaning to, look for ultimate aproval. Mercutio just lounges, half in, half out of an old box of hockey helmets and knee pads, actually making it look comfortable and he grins slowly, half yawning, eyes glittering -

“Shit sake Sammy, why don't you just – bang it out or something? S'up Ben?”

“What, me?”

“Nah, the _other_ Benvolio. The cool one. Yeah you. Spill the beans.”

“Oh I don't have – what makes you think I have -”

“Oh bite me Benvolio, you're about as cool as my mum's enchiladas. What news, friendo?”

“So – um – new kid?” He mentally applauds himself with some heavy sarcasm; yes that, _that_ was how he chose to let it out.

“Er – I'm not, but you do you I guess?”

“No, you wanker! There's a new kid in school! He just drove in the front drive like ten minutes ago.”

“He drove personally? Ain't he seventeen?”

“I really hate you.”

“You love me baby, and you know it, gonna turn you to my team any _day_ now.” Mercutio blows him a fake kiss. Benvolio rolls his eyes.

“So our house? Our year? Does he work for boys? Got cool hair? Is he gonna help you twats in your neverending fight against the Hun?”

Surrounding Montague boys do a quiet chant of _damn them! Damn them! Damn them!_

“By which I mean the Capulets, you baby men. In short, Benny my love, do you got good news for us at all, or do you got shit?”

Benvolio sighs and gets up.

“I got shit,” he groans. “I'm gonna go see if I can introduce myself.”

“You are _so_ good. Isn't he so good? I'mma swoon, I'm gonna die in the light of his grace. Why they didn't make _me_ prefect I will never know. Hey Benny boy?”

Benvolio stops with his hand on the doorknob, sighs -

“Dick head?”

“Is he cute?” Mercutio sticks his tongue out and waggles his eyebrows. Benvolio groans and walks out.

“Would he do me?” Mercutio yells after him - “Can I get first dibs? Can I -”

Benvolio slams the door. Mercutio is already on his feet -

“C'mon guys, let's go bug the newb!”

“And Benvolio?”

“Goes without saying. I bug him the best. Hey Benny, wait up, we're with you!”

They charge up the hockey field, Mercutio throwing an arm around Benvolio's shoulder.

“Twat,” Benvolio sighs, not without affection - “I got a middle finger too, you know.” He sticks it up at him. Mercutio grabs his wrist and kisses the offending finger with a loud _mwah!_

“Oh sit and swivel.”

“Thanks Benny, I'll save it for the new kid – oh shit -”

The crew stop walking as they see the Head coming down the field towards them with an over clean, pleasantly smiling seventeen year old boy in tow -

“Shit Benvolio?” Mercutio whispers skidding to a halt - “That him?”

His mouth goes dry and for ten long seconds he forgets that he's cool and just stares -

“He _is_ hot!”

__x__


	2. Chapter 2

**2.**

“Oh, fuck my life, they're headed straight for us!” Benvolio grabs Mercutio's arm and they skid to a halt - “Any way we can make a break for it?”

“Whaa-?”

“Mercutio?” Benvolio waves a hand wildly in front of Mercutio's face - “Mercutio! Snap out of it man, you've seen pretty before!”

“Yeah but -”

“ _Hello_ Headmaster, how can we help you?”

“Ah Benvolio, just who I was looking for -” Escalus looks at them both with a resigned nod - “You too, Mercutio – it's a wholly expected bonus to find you two together -”

“Whatever it is sir, I didn't do it, and if I did I'm almost sure -”

“ - a Capulet started it sir – whatever it is!” Benvolio finishes for him.

“You're not in trouble, boys - not this time. No, Benvolio, as head of Montague House I'm placing young Romeo here with you to show around. Mercutio – much as I fear I may regret this, you are currently the only student in your year without a room mate. Romeo's been assigned to you. I don't know why I'm saying this, but I hope I can trust you both to show him the ropes?”

“Yes sir!” Benvolio fights the urge to salute. Mercutio finds himself oddly flushed, scuffing a hole in the hockey pitch and staring down at the growing patch of brown in the green.

“Hmm,” Escalus nods, looking at them both suspiciously before patting Romeo on the shoulder in a _Good Luck_ gesture and leaving them to it.

“Oooh sir! Yes sir! Lick your boots for you sir!” Somebody immediately pushes Benvolio in the back and he turns around the whap them. Mercutio sighs in the intervening scuffle and summons his courage to look up at the new boy. Romeo is watching them with the expectant, hopeful look of the new and awkward.

“Ignore them,” he shakes his head wearily - “If they kill each other we can blame the Capulets. Welcome to Verona -” he moves his hand, half ready to hold it out and shake before remembering that nobody does that, and any minute now the others might see him being that much of a dork. Romeo actually does the same thing, dropping his hand and holding it behind his back in his other hand and both boys snort soft giggles and look down.

“Okay, house rules -” Mercutio gathers himself together, flings an arm he hopes feels casual around Romeo's shoulder, and walks him back down the hockey pitch. “Rule one – never fuck a Capulet. It's not quite expulsion but will get you kicked out from all good society. Namely ours.”

“What's a Capulet?”

“Okay, so Verona is split up into four houses? Kinda like Hogwarts, only without any weird implications of personality based on where you end up – or magic -” he adds as an afterthought - “Just in case you wanted to whip your wand out -” he blushes furiously and looks away again, wondering what is _wrong_ with him today. “Okay, that sounded bad – moving quickly on -” he stops at the door of the smoking shed - “Most important place in the school – _obviously –_ Montacrew hideout for all your subversive needs – the porn stash is under the old deflated baseballs, but it's shitty and nowt but girls, so don't bother, they're Benny's. That's for later.” He knocks on the door of the shed as though patting it, and steers Romeo back up the hockey pitch, where Benvolio and the others are still tussling -

“Oi! Knock it off you wankers, eh? Trying to make a good impression here -”

“Oh no really, it's fine -”

“You can take this, right Merc?” Benvolio yells, head in the mud and just being pushed under somebody's boot. “I mean -” he cuts himself off, bouncing up to throw Sam a punch.

“Yeah -” Mercutio shrugs enormously - “I got this, c'mon. So -” he carries on as they head up towards the school building - “First time at boarding school?”

“Yes – I mean – first time like this? I used to go home weekends – I've never been anywhere so -” he struggles, looking for the right word - “It's – not like anything I'm used to.” He smiles shyly and Mercutio gulps, a rather alarming sensation pattering through his chest.

“Okay, survival tip number one?”

“Okay?” Oh damn, those big eyes, that innocent lower lip, is he even for real? Mercutio suspects that he is which makes it worse.

“Don't be so cute -”

Romeo's eyes widen in surprise.

“I mean – um – soft – kid, you can't be so soft. You're too neat, too good, drop it asap or they'll skin you alive round here – not literally,” he adds quickly, noticing that Romeo looks suddenly terrified as though expecting a beefy Capulet to emerge at any moment with a skinning knife.

“Christ -” Mercutio runs a hand through his hair and bites his lip - “You sure you've even been to school before? _Don't_ answer that literally. Right, let's just -” he takes Romeo gently by the tie, resisting an unspeakable urge to just pull him by it and kiss him. Oh _shit_ he thinks for the tenth time already – _this is bad how do I_ room mate _with this guy?_ Instead, he unties Romeo's tie and stuffs it in his pocket -

“And untuck your shirt.”

“Won't I -get in trouble?”

“Look – Romeo? It's either get in trouble with the teachers or with the other kids. Which would you rather?”

“The – teachers?”

“Thank god. Ten points to Montague. Come on, I'll show you our room.”

“Mercutio?”

“Yeah?”

“Is everyone here like – like you?”

“Uh huh – and what am I _like?”_ Natural arrogance thankfully comes back to him as he smirks at the question. He grabs on to it like a drowning man.

“Um – so grown up? I mean witty and fast and – you can like _talk?_ You're so – so _cool_ I guess?”

Mercutio cannot help but laugh. God the veneer is gonna be hard to keep up around this one; he finds himself ready to do battle between the _cool_ him that Romeo sees, the one he always tries and generally succeeds at being and the dork inside that might already be falling for him hard.

“Darling, there's nobody like me,” he laughs, getting out his room key - “C'mon, this is us.”

__x__


	3. Chapter 3

**3.**

“Hey Ben have you seen Romeo?”

“Not in a bit, he went wandering.”

“He's always wandering, did you see which way he went?”

“He was headed out past west field, down towards the sycamore grove I think; you know what he's like – you _do_ know what he's like right? Dreamy bugger.”

“I know better than _you_ mate, he's _my_ room mate. Couldn't you stop him? What if a Capulet finds him. Soft bastard'll end up in the duck pond with fish in his pants.”

“That's – weirdly specific Merc – why the duck pond?”

“Um cause we chucked Kitty in there last summer and and he was banging on about fish in his pants for weeks? You know they're just waiting their chance to get one of us, and Romeo's easy isn't he?”

“Dunno mate you're the one who's trying to make like those fish and get in his -”

“Shuttit, you tit end. Oh god -” Mercutio sits down heavily on the stone steps leading out the back of the school - “Is it that obvious?”

“What? Your blazing crush on Romeo? Only – a lot, mate.”

“You think he noticed?”

“If he didn't, he's the only person in this school who didn't, and _he's_ your actual room mate. Are you saying you've seriously had him in your room thes epast two weeks and _not_ made a move yet? That's – well, that's a bloody snail's pace for you.”

“I _knowwww -_ ” Mercutio moans, head in his hands, Benvolio perching on the edge of a step nearby - “FYI, I hear this means it's serious.”

“Wow. Yeah I mean – yeah for you – _no_ hanky panky _is_ serious.”

“Oh shut up, Ben, don't make it sound like I'm some mega slut.”

“Usually _you_ brag about being a mega slut.”

“Yeah but -” Mercutio flaps a hand limply - “ _Different._ I think we covered this.”

“Look – do you want me to go and talk to him?”

“ _God_ no – tell him what? _My mate fancies you?_ What are we, twelve?”

“No you twat, just – you know – find out how _he_ feels – if maybe he's down there right now brooding about _you.”_

“Oh ha ha – um, yeah, okay, alright you could do that and uh – Benny?”

“Mercutio?”

“Don't tell anyone but I don't think it's just a crush.”

Benvolio rolls his eyes in a _yeah tell me something I don't know_ gesture and heads out down the West Field.

-x-

“Romeo! Oi Romeo! Cuz!”

“Cuz?”

Romeo turns to see Benvolio bouncing towards him, hand up to his eyes against the bright September sunlight, pausing just beneath one of the first sycamore trees, spindly limbs scattering their last pods like old confetti into the autumn air.

“What do you mean?” Romeo frowns as Benvolio approaches.

“Yeah, _so,_ true fact – I was talking to my dad and he's into all that hereditary stuff and he told me actually _you_ are like my second cousin on his side of the family, isn't that a thing?”

“Second cousin? What's that? And – really? That's – that's -”

“Like – my father's cousin's kid or something? I dunno. Anyway, means I get to call you cuz, right?”

“Um – okay! Wow that's – do we hug?”

“Nah mate, still don't hug – oh alright, since nobody's watching.”

They have an awkward little back slapping hug underneath the tree.

“So what you moping around down here for?”

“Oh I'm not moping. Just – thinking, you know. It's so loud all the time at school – I just thought I'd go somewhere quiet I could work out some things.”

“Uh huh – and is the thing a person?”

Romeo blushes in a way that tells Benvolio instantly that it _is._ He mentally punches the air.

“It's that obvious, huh?”

“Only – a lot. Don't worry though.”

“Why not?”

Benvolio shrugs -

“Doesn't help. Besides I'm almost certain he likes you too.”

“You don't even know who it is!”

Benvolio rolls his eyes at him.

“What you mean it's not somebody terribly attractve and cool, vaguely aristocratic and yet simultaneously a complete trash bag? Please cuz, we've all been there.”

“Been there? You mean -” Romeo blushes like a flower opening up.

“Well okay not _been there_ been there, but yeah basically, having a crush on our Mercutio is like one of the top ten things to do before you graduate Verona Academy.”

“It's not a _crush, B_ envolio – this is serious. I think I might -”

“Oh not you as well.”

“- love him. What?”

“Nothing. Nothing. Nothing at all. Oh heck, why am I always in-between guy?”

“I – sort of have no idea what you're talking about?”

“Wait there.”

Benvolio runs off suddenly, leaving Romeo standing frowning under the tree, prodding a pile of browning leaves with one toe to see if they're dry. Ten minutes later he is sat in the leaves, looking up at the lacework of spindly branches when Mercutio appears, clearing his throat with obnoxious volume.

“Oh!” Romeo almost jumps before settling back against the tree trunks - “Mercutio!” he blushes - “Have you been standing there long?”

“Just about enough to start making it weird yeah – you been – nesting there long? You look like a baby bird in those leaves.”

“Oh – ah – um,” Romeo states eloquently, getting up and starting to brush leaves off himself. The way he does that sort of thing, the way he mumbles, blushes, bites his pouty bottom lip – it's going to kill Mercutio, he's almost sure of it.

“Here,” he sighs, brushing leaves and tree matter from Romeo's back. “You're hopeless. Like a puppy.”

“Did you see Ben? He was here and then he – well then he wasn't – it was actually quite strange, he just ran off. I sort of thought he might be back but then – here you are, and that's – that's good – I'm babbling, sorry. Sorry.”

“He does that. Yeah I saw him. Told me you were here, going all moon eyed or something – so who's the lucky guy?”

“Hey! What makes you think I'm – I like girls –” Romeo sounds so defensive Mercutio has to laugh.

“Yeah, and the rest. Please, you're about as straight as I am. Better not be a Capulet.”

“No it's not – oh! I mean there isn't – that is – maybe I – oh shut up – I've only been here nearly a week.”

“So?” Mercutio shrugs - “You look like the falling in love fast kind.”

“How does that even look? _Is_ that a kind, or is this some of your famous bullshit?”

“Hey, who said I was famous for my bullshit? I'm gonna _kill_ Benvolio.”

Romeo laughs, blushes and wanders off into the trees, Mercutio bounds after him and, making it look like a very casual, very Strictly Friends gesture if that were at all possible – slips his hand in Romeo's. Romeo feels his skin prickle from head to toe and a feeling like he might explode with happiness from his ears and he gives Mercutio's hand a little squeeze.

“In case you hadn't noticed – I might like you too,” Mercutio blurts, feeling suddenly fourteen and clueless. He's not sure why this happens, even _how_ it can have happened; he's so effortlessly cool with everyone else, so suave, fantastic at charming just about anyone into bed but with this one – this one he might actually _really_ like – he finds himself reduced to a bit of a blithering idiot.

“I didn't say I -” Romeo stops, turns, swings a little on Mercutio's hand. Mercutio fears at any moment he might actually say _shucks_ or something - “It is you,” he says quietly, turning shy, long lashed eyes up to Mercutio's face - “I think – it was always going to be you. Is that silly? Do you hate me now? Can we still be friends?”

“ _Romeo -”_ Mercutio sighs, reaching a hand as though cooler fingers could gently soothe the blush from those cheeks - “While I may not be as slutty as Benvolio may have told you, I don't hold hands with just anyone. Actually -” he has to look away for a moment. “This _might_ be a first, and can I kiss you?”

_Smooth, Merc,_ he groans inwardly – _real smooth._ But Romeo is smiling, his face tilting eagerly, if slightly, those lips that look more like they should be praying than kissing, but it's a _yes,_ it has to be, and to his horror Mercutio finds that when he kisses Romeo it is surpassingly gentle, like the whisper of the last leaves brushing together fluttering in the branches.

“Of course,” he smiles when they break apart - “Of _course_ we can still be friends, you sweet idiot, just -” _Christ,_ he thinks, _I'm seventeen and it feels like I'm proposing marriage -_ “Be my everything else as well?”

When Romeo smiles it is like sunlight breaking through the trees.

“Everything,” he echoes - “Yes, alright.”

__x__

**So I had to wrap this up here to fit the deadline but if anybody likes it at all there may be more to follow :-) Do not shoot me, I never wrote these characters before :-)**


End file.
